Thursday, March 01, 2012

The Dismaying Story All-Stars

I am delighted and grateful for the constant traffic on this site. Many of the comments show appreciation for the insightful and heartfelt feedback left by previous Faithful Readers. I am thankful for all the support and wisdom many of you have shared over the years. For those of you who are new, I thought I would provide a bit of a road map to a few selected articles that generated considerable discussion. Hopefully this will help you gain a sense of what the TLH&D community is all about – and by all means I would love to hear about your opinions and experiences regarding these and other relationship topics!

A special welcome goes out to all those who arrived here via Facebook or Twitter. Be sure to leave a comment to let me know you were here!

The following are a few all-stars selected from among the many Dismaying Stories. Enjoy!

Dismaying Story #124: Sexual Obsession

I received a letter from a woman who recently discovered that her husband was suffering from what she described as a sexual addiction. She wrote: "It's been the most painful and gut churning experience of my life." I offered some thoughts of my own, and then a number of female readers chimed in with support and similar stories from their own lives. One comment begins: "Reading this post was like being hit in the chest with a train. This was where I was about 20 years ago." The original letter writer also joined in the conversation, offering an update on her situation. Some Dismaying Stories like this one are about tremendous pain that occurs in people's lives. Happily they are also about how people come together to support one another through those tough times. Click here for the full story.

Dismaying Story #88: An Emotional Affair

The letter in this case came from a woman who had "just fallen into" an online relationship with another man. They never spoke, never met, never discussed sexual topics ... but they told each other how much they meant to each other, and she felt guilty, convinced that her husband wouldn't understand. Is this one type of affair? Or just a harmless online friendship? Click here to see what I had to say, along with fifteen of my closest online friends. And please feel free to chime in. I'd love to hear your take on this topic, especially now that Facebook and Twitter make it so easy for all of us to connect with our online friends every day. Is there a point where these types of online relationships can cross the line from networking to cheating?

The Five-Minute Drill

Most of the Dismaying Story posts on this site are in response to questions sent in by readers. This one is a bit different; it describes one of the best pieces of parenting advice that my wife and I ever received, in this case from our family doctor. Have you ever tried to put a very young child to bed, only to endure prolonged bouts of crying when you attempt to leave the child alone? If so, then you know it can be a difficult and heart-wrenching situation. The Five-Minute Drill is a technique that can work very well for both parent and child -- we used it with all three of our children. One couple in particular were completely sleep deprived after weeks of dealing with a crying child. They found the five-minute drill on this site, and after trying it they went so far as to offer this feedback: "We are writing to tell you that you have saved our lives." (You can find that feedback posted here.) That made my day when I received that!

The TLH&D archives contain discussions on topics as wide-ranging as separate sleepers, divorcing your toxic parents, catching a cheating spouse, know-it-all spouses, jealousy over past partners, and many more. I also plan to continue the discussion with new Dismaying Stories ... with help from you Faithful Readers, of course!

Thank you for visiting, and please - I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to email me or leave a comment to share what’s on your mind. Comments can be anonymous and the identity of email correspondents always remains confidential.

All the best,

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