tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post7998703328104715785..comments2023-05-25T10:37:58.109-03:00Comments on To Love, Honor, and Dismay: Dismaying Story #118: After a Pregnancy ScareAndrew McAllisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07210761023973607515noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-44731829950665803682007-02-26T19:29:00.000-04:002007-02-26T19:29:00.000-04:00I think his panic comes from him being 24. That's...I think his panic comes from him being 24. That's very young to start thinking of all the responsibility of a child. My man is 37 and we are expecting our first child. For two years all I heard about was how he wouldn't have a life and he would panic if I brought up kids. Well, this one is a surprise and he is handling it very well. that's not to say he won't freak out as soon as our son is born, but in the meantime he is looking forward to the RESPONSIBILITY believe it or not. I don't think his panic attack has anything to do with the amount of love he has for her. I just think that he is too young and knows the challenges they would face and that they may be too much to bear right now. Give it a few years and see what happens then.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-62640519435942869502007-02-25T23:16:00.000-04:002007-02-25T23:16:00.000-04:00My dad swears that 27 is the magic age at which me...My dad swears that 27 is the magic age at which men finally start "nesting".<BR/><BR/>I wouldn't give up on him yet but everybody here is right--discuss it thoroughly before you make any permanent plans. (Until then--protect yourselves! Nobody needs the stress of false alarms.)Little Black Carhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14313164876855565140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-51504745228451792472007-02-25T20:21:00.000-04:002007-02-25T20:21:00.000-04:00I went through that with my husband. He knew from...I went through that with my husband. He knew from the beginning that I wanted two children and I knew he wanted none at the time. We waited 3 years before making the decision to have kids. I wanted him to be ready and it didn't bother me to wait. (we were 21) We knew when the time was right-it felt right between us. Sex wasn't just sex, it had a purpose. <BR/>I believe that he may truly love you and children have absolutely nothing to do with that. It's not a matter of having children with you, it's having children AT ALL right now. So don't take it personally and start talking about it, as it will eventually be a decision to make.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-33165778393856540512007-02-25T12:01:00.000-04:002007-02-25T12:01:00.000-04:00There may not be any rush, but if you're living to...There may not be any rush, but if you're living together then you are already thinking about spending your lives together. Having children needs to be a topic of conversation before you say "I do." If this is more important to you than to him, then the resentment it can cause whether or not you have them can become a huge problem for the party who does or does not get what they want. I've seen this cause huge marital strife.<BR/><BR/>Do not be coy about what you want, do not let the chance to discuss it slip past you. It matters far too much to be afraid to discuss it for fear of running him off. His feelings aren't the only ones that should be taken into account.Mary O. Paddockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04097124493453341534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-80827524207480983912007-02-25T03:51:00.000-04:002007-02-25T03:51:00.000-04:00his parents announced him out of the blue that the...his parents announced him out of the blue that they were getting a divorce when he was 10. the few times he talked about it he made it sound like a betrayal, like the point his life was pretty much ruined, the point where he lost his control over his life. that might indeed be a factor... :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-40549774023701670922007-02-24T20:28:00.000-04:002007-02-24T20:28:00.000-04:00Timing is everything. He may indded love you very ...Timing is everything. He may indded love you very very much, but he isn't ready... <BR/>Economic reasons are just as valid as having done the things you want to do first -- graduate college or getting a master's degree, traveling, having alone time together as a couple, being established in your respective careers... <BR/>He may see a baby as a stop sign UNTIL he thinks these type of things have been experienced...<BR/>There is a difference between 'I don't EVER want kids' and 'I want them, I just would like to feel more secure in my life first'.<BR/>This is just a guess.<BR/>Also, it may depend on what his family life was like growing up... If he had a happy homelife with brothers and sisters, his memoris of that are good.<BR/>If it was traumatic, he may be afraid to go there becasue there are bad memories of what life and parents are like when there is a family...<BR/>Best wishes to you. I hope it all works out so you both are happy in the long term !Constancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02702046097986873803noreply@blogger.com