tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post115832074629272692..comments2023-05-25T10:37:58.109-03:00Comments on To Love, Honor, and Dismay: A Spicy Latin Dish versus Chicken SoupAndrew McAllisterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07210761023973607515noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158609000963726172006-09-18T16:50:00.000-03:002006-09-18T16:50:00.000-03:00No. No marriage, PLEASE! If you start out with suc...No. No marriage, PLEASE! If you start out with such serious doubts, you're not ready. <BR/><BR/>Honestly, it feels to me like despite how wonderful this man is, he's pressuring you. Maybe a touch of passive-aggressive behavior? He "convinces" you to stay with him. Is it because he loves you or because he's afraid to be alone?<BR/><BR/>Have a good heart-to-heart with him. Tell him it does neither of you any good to go forward when such serious doubts hang over you. Then cool your jets for a while. There's no law saying you must marry right now, or ever. He's not the right one for you, and vice versa!Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18045985667596964511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158519189414233742006-09-17T15:53:00.000-03:002006-09-17T15:53:00.000-03:00Marriage is based on what is best for two people. ...Marriage is based on what is best for two people. What I heard in this letter was I, I, I,! How about give the "chicken soup guy" a break and don't marry him? I think he deserves better than you are offering him --- it might hurt him for a few days, but not for a whole lifetime, while you are dreaming about the "chili pepper dude" who is out there somewhere.Kaceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00204053320557518502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158417799594653152006-09-16T11:43:00.000-03:002006-09-16T11:43:00.000-03:00If you don't feel ready for this, wait. If only fo...If you don't feel ready for this, wait. If only for his sake. I'm sure he wants to marry someone he knows for sure loves him with her whole heart. Especially if you've cheated in the past and he's forgiven you, and even accepts the fact that you are having cold feet, I'm sure he can wait until you are sure. <BR/>Once you've tied the knot, there is no going back- well, divorce certainly is always worse than a breakup.Alessiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14696476693548380707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158369169097176632006-09-15T22:12:00.000-03:002006-09-15T22:12:00.000-03:00I weigh in on the side that says to wait. It's far...I weigh in on the side that says to wait. It's far easier to stop the wedding before it's happened than to undo it afterward. And one should never have to contemplate a future which they think might be unhappy because they're making the wrong choice. Wait and figure out what the right thing is to do.mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00219939239649337581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158359627132451192006-09-15T19:33:00.000-03:002006-09-15T19:33:00.000-03:00hey, gang, why am I the only man commenting? what'...hey, gang, why am I the only man commenting? what's the deal?Pawlie Kokonutshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12974388685662241108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158359536801492522006-09-15T19:32:00.000-03:002006-09-15T19:32:00.000-03:00Even-handed, as always. My view? Don't do it! But,...Even-handed, as always. My view? Don't do it! But, heck, my wife is watching me type these words (and astoundingly it turns out we agree on this, she just informed me). Wow, you're great Dr. Andrew. You just saved our marriage!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158345522716704532006-09-15T15:38:00.000-03:002006-09-15T15:38:00.000-03:00well - it is your decision to makebut if you want ...well - it is your decision to make<BR/><BR/>but if you want my advice - i would say wait<BR/><BR/>unless you can put you whole heart and soul into something - then don't do it<BR/><BR/>i'm a mom and a grandmom - and i can tell you -- if you're afraid of disappointing your parents or friends or other family members -- they will get over it...i would be upset if my daughter came to me last minute and told me the wedding was off - after all the money i spent<BR/><BR/> but i would still love her<BR/><BR/>and telling your family is the adult thing to do - being afraid of them is acting like the child you 'were' to them...not the adult person you are nowazgoddesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15190285114417409204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158332671694410032006-09-15T12:04:00.000-03:002006-09-15T12:04:00.000-03:00I agree that waiting is never a bad thing. I have ...I agree that waiting is never a bad thing. I have been married for 15 years and I have never looked back - it is awesome when it's right but if you have doubts - wait! Do not feel pressured. If he is the right one - he will wait.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158330131359275072006-09-15T11:22:00.000-03:002006-09-15T11:22:00.000-03:00Footnote regarding bad boys:My boyfriend is a spic...Footnote regarding bad boys:<BR/><BR/>My boyfriend is a spicy soup bad boy. But he's also the sweetest man in the world.<BR/><BR/>Now THAT is a nice mix!cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158329704673457622006-09-15T11:15:00.000-03:002006-09-15T11:15:00.000-03:00Here is MY advice for this gal. It is really simpl...Here is MY advice for this gal. It is really simple. Do not get married right now. It doesn't mean he is being rejected, or that he is not wonderful, or that she is not wonderful too... it is obvious that she is not ready for marriage. 25 years old? C'mon...she has a LOT of living to do, and apparently, her insides know it and are screaming for validation!<BR/>Why wouldn't she trust her own mind and heart? Her own body is rejecting the idea...not the man, but the idea of marrying him. The reasons may become more clear over time, but why gamble with your future, or his? Divorce is ugly business, and that is my prediction for them if they go through with it. Did she think about this; If he is such a good man, doesn't he deserve someone who will enthusiastically embrace the idea of marrying him, rather than being dragged, vomiting, down the aisle clinging to some impossible vision of spicy male perfection?<BR/><BR/>BTW: sarcasm gets really old after a while...Wendy C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14097649136157565627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30644215.post-1158327547345483452006-09-15T10:39:00.000-03:002006-09-15T10:39:00.000-03:00I agree with julie julie. There is no way, at thi...I agree with julie julie. There is no way, at this point, to know for sure if this is the man for you. He may very well be. Waiting to be sure is never a bad thing. <BR/><BR/>Your insecure feelings are creating far to unstable an environment for anyone to get married in. If the guy is as sweet as you say he is, he will be willing to wait for you to feel good about it. Time is always your friend. If a man were to tell me, "it's now or never," I would certainly choose never. <BR/><BR/>No one should ever feel pressured to tie the knot. Never ever. Not by anyone or anything.cathouse terihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02547258612468286876noreply@blogger.com