I just broke up with my boyfriend of eight months. I'm just wondering why he suddenly decided he didn’t love me anymore. He told me he loved me every day and on the morning we broke up he called to say he loves me. Then that evening he changed his mind. How is that? I'm sure if he doesn’t love me anymore, then that feeling must have been there for quite some time. I don’t understand why he kept telling me otherwise.
The simple (and no doubt painful) truth is that he never was in love with you. A person may wake up one morning and realize they would rather not continue with their partner, but that doesn’t happen when that person is truly happy about the relationship.
While you were still together it was in his best interest to make you happy. This kept the day-to-day relationship sailing along with as much harmony as possible. Perhaps he figured out that saying the “L” word made things work better between the two of you. Or this may simply be his manner with all his girlfriends. Or perhaps he tried very, very hard to convince himself this was the relationship for him and saying “I love you” was part of how he did that. I don’t know -- there could be any number of reasons why a boyfriend would say those words repeatedly, even when the relationship is destined to end.
I’m not saying your boyfriend was trying to deceive you. I’m sure this happens sometimes and that may have been his intent, but not necessarily.
So what do you do if your boyfriend or girlfriend says the words? How do you know if their words are really true? As in most circumstances in life, you also pay attention to their behavior. Actions truly do speak louder than words.
In your case, though, the reasons why he told you he loved you all the time are no longer important. The only relevant fact now is that he has admitted this is not the relationship for him. My advice is to stop worrying about why and what if and if only. Set your sights on the future, one that doesn’t include him. Go find yourself the guy who will say “I love you” and really mean it!
All the best,